Welcome, short-lived beings!
With the few last storytimes being dominated with the answer to Geldrin’s “snow” question, I hadn’t taken a look at our mailbag for a while. By my glittering hoard, we’ve received a lot of letters from nearly every corner of this world and beyond! Thus, in the interest of catching up, I’ve elected to do another round of quickfire “Q&A”!
Geldrin has selected a handful of questions for me to answer, so without further delay, let’s get to answering!
Great question, ye druidy-wizardy thing! I have little interest in most growing things, to be honest. Flowers and trees provide very little entertainment. Certain herbs and spices, on the other hand, are an excellent addition to most meals. Paprika is one of my favorites, as it pairs very well with grilled orc, thus I guess the peppers they are made from are on my list as well. However, nothing is as wonderful to me as the carnivorous plants I’ve come upon in my travels. Large, fang-mouthed flowers capable of swallowing an elephant whole, or gigantic acid-filled pitchers of death that can introduce a careless mortal to an early end are some I feel the most kinship with.
There is one, however, that I worked very closely with. I had come upon a group of hermits who had moved into an old military fortification on an island. I was hungry enough for a snack, and though these folks tasted like unwashed feet and inner peace (gross), they still filled my belly nonetheless. I was having a bit of trouble rooting all of them out of their small fortress, when I heard a scream from the other side of the fort. Apparently, they had it in mind to make a dash towards a boat only to get wrapped up in some slithering vines. I came upon no less than ten of these monks all entangled in the plant like some sort of present just for me!
Since then, I have learned that this violent plant was aptly named an “assassin vine,” which also produces fruit that can be brewed into a nutritious juice. Maybe one of the hermits was planning on just that, but instead of turning the plant into a meal, the plant turned HIM into a meal for me! Thus, the assassin vine is by far my favorite plant.
Ah, there’s a possibly heavy question! However, I will give back a somewhat light answer—not really. For centuries after escaping from the clutches of my father, I traveled a great distance from where I was raised, thus I heard nothing of them or their doings for a very long time. Eventually I had a chance encounter with a few of my siblings who were locked in a ferocious battle (but I’ll save that story for another time). After this meeting, I realized there would be no escaping them fully and I eventually moved back to the same continent as the rest of the lot. I heard very little from them still until I began this whole book thing with Geldrin. Since then, my name has reached far and wide, and with this success came the incessant pesterings from my kin. The siblings from my father’s green side keep trying to convince me to join with them in dominating the world, while the brass-scales from my mother’s side are convinced I will eventually join them in aiding the world’s poor and needy (blech). Currently I have these writing-related projects keeping me incredibly busy, so I have a handy excuse to not get involved.
An… interesting question to be sure, but one that I surprisingly have an answer to! Though I have not tried this with actual grapes, at one point centuries ago I came upon an entire tiny kingdom filled with tinier people. Each one of these miniature mortals was around the size and density of your average grape, and though it took me hours to eat every one, at one point I was able to get a good mouthful of the miniscule soldiers that had come out to defend their king against me. I’d guess there were at least two thousand of these little lads, thus I’d say a bit over two thousand is how many actual grapes I can fit in my mouth! Next question!
Editor’s note: A horrifying tale, and apologies to any Lilliputian readers we may have.
As I mentioned before, it’s paprika. Though fennel is fairly tasty as well. Next!
Editor’s note:I tried to clarify, but Grendel just wants the next question. Sorry. I’d guess his favorite season is summer?
I had the same idea as a wyrmling! I remember on my first few days after hatching, my mother took a few of us out to see the sky. We were still on a diet of small critters at the time, bugs included, and fireflies were some of my favorites. A few days later, as soon as my wings were strong enough, I slipped out of the cave and attempted to fly as high as I could in order to gorge myself on an easy meal of shiny bugs. I didn’t get nearly high enough to catch even one, though, before my father caught up to me, scolding me fiercely and violently for my folly. To this day, though my tastes have refined far past eating insects, I still will try and attempt to reach what must be the most massive lightning bugs that have ever existed. I mean they must be massive, since I’ve never even gotten close before flying becomes too difficult, the air grows too cold, and I find it too hard to breath and must retreat. One day, I’ll find out exactly how big those bugs are!
And with that we must end our current round of questions and answers. We only were able to touch on a few, but if any of you dear readers have any more questions, always feel free to ask! If the question passes the Harpy test, and the even easier Geldrin test, then I may be answering it on one of these storytimes!
For now, thank you to those who sent in these questions. Hopefully my answers continued to shed some light on dragons and seasoned your beautiful brains with even more draconic knowledge!